One of the hardest things a gay individual has to deal with is running into someone you dated in a public bathroom. You’re trapped at a urinal and are forced to make awkward small talk.
All you want to do is zip up and run out of the restroom as fast as possible… But then they are going to judge you for not washing your hands.
So you casually act as if you’re somewhere else and start conversation. I just pretend that we’ve run into each other waiting for a cup of coffee, when in reality, I’m regretting the cup of coffee I had earlier that went right through me.
You both finish your business and you head over to the sink area to wash your hands and next thing you know, he’s gone! He bolted for the door at the first chance, and now you can judge him, and warn all your mutual friends about his uncleanly nature.
I feel like Thailand probably smells like fresh linen from all the clothing factories… Well fresh linen and poverty.
Like every other person who makes a New Year’s resolution, I vowed to get back in shape and go to the gym more.
I went three days in a row. By day four my arms were ready to fall off and so I went biking. Now my legs are ready to fall off too.
My favorite part about going to the gym? The cigarette I have in the parking lot as I walk to my car. I mostly do it for the dirty looks I get from the soccer moms and the gay gym-bunnies.
Haters gonna hate.
Sitting on the roof, smoking at my parent’s house… I haven’t felt this much like an angsty teenager since I was an angsty teenager losing my virginity while my parents thought I was at a football game.
I purposely wear unflattering underwear on first dates as a deterrent from sleeping with someone on a first date.
If smokers are allowed to take smoking breaks, are alcoholics allowed to have drinking breaks? I’m going to start taking 15 minute breaks every 2 hours to go do shots of tequila.
When I get hungry I smoke a cigarette or drink a caffeinated drink (ie: coffee, tea, or diet coke.)
An actual quote from my date tonight:
My Date: “Oh my gosh, I just can’t get over how soft your hands are!”
Me:”Oh, these aren’t mine… I borrowed these from a baby.”
Today I am wearing the softest shirt I’ve ever had, but I can’t focus on that because the tag is so itchy.
It is funny how “Gay & Lesbian” is a genre of its own on Netflix … you would think they would just put movies about the LGBT lifestyle under Horror…
I think when people lookup the current weather conditions it should just say:
… Where, if you don’t have insurance, you can have your stab wounds and gunshots sutured up for the price of the balloon of crack-cocaine in your bowels.
MLA format is like that guy who drops names when he’s talking to you… Because, somehow, merely knowing people makes you so cool.